Fear Tyler

I'm very vulnerable at night time. Not "oh, I'm so lonely. Someone come cuddle me now!" No, I save that vulnerability for Thursday nights with a bottle of wine (let's be honest: a six pack) to myself. My night time vulnerability involves using half my brain power, and from the looks of my past night time decisions, it's not the logical side that's on and functioning.

I was caught off guard. I was texting Tyler for a couple days. His profile seemed vague with either blurry or far away images. I gave him my number only hoping to get a better sense of what he looked like (creepily add him on Snapchat and gauge his appearance). I should have seen the signs:

• "Hello?" texts after not responding within five minutes
• He only sent pictures he said were "outdated"
• He didn't have a Snapchat

Hell, the warning signs should have been the grainy images he used. Why did I continue talking to this uninteresting person? I was bored. Pure boredom. Why does anyone go on Tinder anyways? - To hook up, duhhh - I just wanted to pass the time in between classes or while in line at Walmart. Sending an "LOL" was more entertaining to me than watching the cashier scan cereal and diapers.

It was around 1am. I was dozing in and out of sleep; listening to people give their orders in the fast food drive thru that is just a football field away from my bedroom window.

"Would you like cheese on that, sir?"

Clearly a woman's voice responds, "On my cheeseburger?"

My phone vibrated; its screen illuminating my ceiling. Tyler texted. It was another "Hello?" because I forgot to text back. Life wasn't boring for the past few hours so I had no need to be distracted. He went straight to the point and said he wanted to meet up. I, being vulnerable at night, made plans to have him over the next day.

The morning after the text, I woke up laughing. I invited Tyler to hang out haha yeah right. To my dismay, the interaction was not in fact a dream but had actually occurred. I couldn't back down. I'm not a mean person that cancels plans the day of. I couldn't tell him I wasn't actually interested. A part of me, though, kept thinking You'll know what he looks like. What if he's just a terrible texter?  But that one thought raised all expectations that I had for Tyler.

I didn't pay attention in any of my classes that morning. All I could think of was 1. I hope none of my roommates are home to witness this and 2. I hope he's not a creep.

My hopes were too much to ask for, apparently.

I met Tyler at the bottom of the stairs of my apartment building. He was tall, wearing a mechanics uniform with "Tyler" stitched in cursive, with a muscular build. As I looked up his body my eyes lingered on a spot on his neck.

"Fear."

That wasn't a word uttered from my mouth. That was the word tattooed on Tyler's neck. Oh, but the buck didn't stop there. I never talked to him on the phone, we only texted. He opened his mouth and out came the most heavily doused redneck accent I had ever heard. I was tempted to send him away. I was going to until he said, "I drove 30 minutes to come see ya!"

I begrudgingly walked up the stairs to my apartment, with Tyler following along probably wondering how he reeled in such a catch.

This is where I became grateful that one of my roommates, Sarah, was still home. I texted her about my discomfort and she stayed out in the living room, barely leaving us alone. I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to do? I did not want any physical contact with this man, let alone look at him or his neck.

We ended up streaming a movie via Netflix. He was sitting on the couch and I was three feet away, sitting on the arm of the arm chair. My butt was going numb and my back was hurting from balancing my two cheeks on the one arm rest, but I refused to get comfortable. I wanted my physical discomfort to reflect my mental discomfort.

Five or so minutes into the movie he asked, "Do you want to come over here," as he gestured with his left arm that was outstretched over the back of the couch.

"No, I'm good," I replied too quickly. I pretended I was really into the movie and just stared intently at the screen. My focus was really internal as I devised a plan to get out of the situation I had so wrongfully put myself into.

Bingo.

I already had a time cap for the hang out. "I have to pick my roommate up from class at around nine tonight," I had told him before he even arrived. I looked at my phone and saw the time was nearing 7pm. I couldn’t wait two more hours to kick him out. We were an hour into the hour and a half long movie. I had a stroke of genius and I am thankful Sarah went along with it.

"Oh shit, Tyler. My roommate needs us to come get her early." I looked at Sarah so she got the hint and so Tyler didn't think us meant him and me.

I paused Netflix, grabbed my keys and walked to the front door before Tyler even had one shoe on (that's right, he kicked off his mechanic's boots).

We all three bounded down the stairs and I quickly diverged from him towards my car. "That was fun," I said as I unlocked the door. "Sorry about my roommate," I added. I didn't hear his response. Sarah and I were pretending to be in a big rush. I started the car and headed towards the main road. A 97' bright red mustang with black rims sped past us.

It was Tyler speeding away with his fear and my own.